What Memory Games Really Do for Kids (and How to Play Them Well)

What working memory is

Psychologists use the term working memory for the mental sticky note we use to hold information for a few seconds while we do something with it. A child uses it to follow “put your shoes on, get your bag and wait by the door”, to keep the start of a sentence in mind while writing the end, and to remember a number halfway through a sum.

Working memory grows a lot through childhood, and children vary widely at any age. A young child can usually hold only a couple of things at once; by the end of primary school that has increased considerably. So when a five-year-old forgets the third step of an instruction, that's usually their age, not a lack of effort.

What a matching game really practises

A game like Memory Match asks a child to pay attention, remember where things are, look carefully at pictures and make decisions about which card to try. Played with others, it also involves taking turns and coping with losing gracefully — both skills that need practice.

What it doesn't do is transform a child's brain. Large reviews of working-memory training programmes have found that children get better at the tasks they practise, but the improvement doesn't reliably spread to things like reading or math. That's worth knowing so you can enjoy memory games for what they are — fun, focused practice in paying attention — without expecting miracles.

Strategy matters more than you'd think

Watch an adult play pairs and you'll see a strategy, even if they couldn't name it. They turn over a card they haven't seen first, then think about whether they've seen its partner. If they have, they go straight to it. If not, they turn over another new card to learn more. Children often do the opposite, turning over familiar cards again and again.

Strategy can be taught, and it makes a bigger difference to a young child's success than raw memory. Say your thinking out loud on your turn: “I'll try a new one first… a crab! I saw a crab in the top row — this one.” Naming cards out loud helps too, because remembering “crab, top corner” in words is easier than remembering a picture.

Playing Memory Match well

Memory Match has three boards: 12 cards on Easy, 16 on Medium and 20 on Hard. Start on Easy, even with older children, so the first game feels good. Stars are based on moves rather than time, which rewards careful thinking over frantic tapping. The timer is there for children who enjoy beating their own best time, but there's no time limit.

It works nicely as a shared game on one device: take turns choosing two cards, and say the creature names as you flip them. Stop while it's still fun; a round takes one to four minutes, and two or three rounds is plenty.

Memory games with nothing but your voice (and a few toys)

1. 1Kim's game

   Put six to eight objects on a tray, look for a minute, then cover them and take one away. What's missing? Add objects as your child improves.

2. 2I went shopping

   “I went shopping and bought an apple.” The next person repeats it and adds an item. Funny items are easier to remember.

3. 3Copy my clap

   Clap a short rhythm; your child copies it. Make it one beat longer each round.

4. 4Silly instructions

   Give two- or three-step instructions as a game: “touch your nose, jump twice, then sit down”. Swap roles.

5. 5What's changed?

   Your child leaves the room while you move one thing. When they come back, can they spot what's different?

6. 6Homemade pairs

   Draw matching pairs on cardboard squares — family faces, favourite foods. Making the cards is half the fun.

Adjusting for age

Four to five: start with four to six pairs, and play once with the cards face up so your child can see all the pictures first. Kim's game with four or five objects is a good fit.

Five to seven: eight pairs is a good challenge, and this is the age to start talking about strategy. Cumulative games like “I went shopping” work well.

Eight to ten: ten or more pairs, scoring games against family members and beating personal records. Children this age enjoy explaining their strategies, which is good practice in itself.

When memory or attention seems hard

Everyone has off days. Tired, hungry or worried children remember less, and a busy, noisy room makes any memory game harder. If your child struggles with a game, the first fixes are fewer cards, a quieter space and playing earlier in the day.

If you notice your child consistently finding it much harder than other children of the same age to follow simple instructions or remember what they were doing, mention it to their teacher or doctor. It isn't something a game can diagnose, and it's often nothing to worry about, but it's worth an expert conversation.

Common adult mistakes

Selling the game as brain training is one; it sets up expectations a game can't meet and turns play into homework. Always winning (or always letting your child win) is another. Children learn more from a fair game where they sometimes win, and from seeing you lose cheerfully.

Finally, try not to jump in too quickly. If your child pauses, they may be remembering. Give them a few seconds before helping.